How NOT to sell a laptop on Craig's list

I've been in the market for a good used computer and Craig's list is the number one destination for this type of purchase.  I never cease to be amazed at some of the postings.  These "how not to" tips are based upon actual current postings in the Albany, NY Craig's list.

1. Find the craziest background to keep them guessing...

2.  Describe your laptop as though you are selling livestock:

Hello. I am selling a very nice and sturdy Dell Laptop.

(I much prefer an ugly, jiggly laptop)

3.  Scare off those scammers...something like this should work:

IF YOU ASK ME TO SHIP IT ANYWHERE, ESPECIALLY AFRICA, YOU WILL BE REPORTED AUTHORITIES, YOU'VE TRIED YOUR AFRICA SCAM ON ME SEVERAL TIMES NOW, STOP
Cash Only
Serious requests only
Scammers will be reported

(So I can't pay with a goat and ask you to ship to Afghanistan?... but I'm making a serious request...)

4.  Show them a real bargain...

4 thousand dollar machine - $2

(Actual title and no, it isn't a $4,000 machine and I'd venture to guess he won't sell it for $2).

5.  And if it doesn't sell, change your title to something like this...

Toshiba Satillite c655-s5082 - *Even Lower Price*

(Folks, here's a clue... if your laptop hasn't sold in a week or two, it is too much!)

6.  Sell it "as is," but make sure you include a guarantee...

Toshiba laptop as is - $60
I have a toshiba laptop no charger and it is dead but I fully guarantee this laptop will turn on. It just needs to be dumped otherwise everything works on it. It is missing the enter button but it still works like I said this computer just needs to be dumped I'm sure it has plenty of viruses.

(...but the guarantee is only in place if you "dump it")

7.  Don't provide pictures when descriptive text can be used instead...

IT HAS A CUSTOMIZED COVER. THE COLOR IS CAJUN SHRIMP. PINK, ORANGE COLOR COMBO. I CAN PROVIDE PICS

(ah yes, the Cajun shrimp, pink and orange laptop - got it).

8.  Don't worry about spelling, just tell them what they need to know...

hp 2000 laptop NEWW - $220 (albany)
2 weeks old. Nothing wrong. Please email only if serious. Thanls

(yes, that was the full ad)

9.  Take pictures on your unmade bed... that should really be a turn on for potential customers.

(Maybe next time you can drape your undies, on the monitor?  I'd say this one is as good as sold!)